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邯郸初中生杀害同学的案子,真是让我们这些当父母的揪心!
家长们到底要怎么做才能保护孩子远离可怕的校园暴力?
本期心理师
萌主:
国家心理咨询师
回答
心理咨询师萌主是这样解答的:
家长在预防和解决校园暴力中,至关重要!
01
首先一起来看
家长要如何做好预防工作
1、告诉孩子什么是欺凌,这样发生欺凌时,孩子容易识别。
2、经常和孩子沟通,并鼓励孩子遇到困难一定要告诉家长。讨论欺凌的次数越多,孩子遭遇欺凌时就越容易告诉家长。
3、参与孩子的网络世界。随着网络欺凌越来越多,家长要熟悉孩子使用的网络平台。
4、教会孩子自尊自爱和自我保护。有的家长总要求孩子顺从,打压孩子的自尊,这样容易让孩子在学校成为被欺负的对象。
5、鼓励孩子建立有益的人际关系,不合群的孩子更容易遭受欺凌。
02
有的家长可能会说
之前没太在意这些
孩子有什么事也不愿意跟家长说
现在怎么办
“种一棵树最好的时机是十年前,其次是现在”。
以前不沟通,现在就要马上开始。另外,还可以观察,如果出现以下迹象,那说明孩子有可能已经遭受欺凌:
1、身体异常:出现不明原因的瘀伤、划伤和愈合的伤口;表现出受害者特有的肢体语言,例如耸肩弓身、拒绝眼神交流、莫名其妙哆嗦等。
2、财物丢失:衣物、电子产品等个人物品丢失或遭到毁坏;经常要钱,甚至偷钱。
3、逃学厌学:忽然害怕上学,或试图带一些可以保护自己的工具去学校;成绩忽然下滑。
4、情绪异常:或紧张、焦虑、警惕,或伤心、难过、沮丧,或攻击性变强、容易暴怒;上网或使用手机后情绪低落;拒绝谈论学校的事情;突然不和朋友来往了或逃避社交场合。
5、生活变化:非得回家才上厕所;睡眠不好,做噩梦,甚至尿床。
03
如果孩子已经遭到欺凌
家长该怎么办
首先要控制自己的情绪,安抚好孩子:
1、倾听孩子诉说,告诉孩子,你很欣慰孩子能向你求助,并让孩子知道随时都能与你沟通。
2、告诉孩子你相信TA,确保孩子明白,这一切都不是TA的错。
3、做孩子的后盾,向TA保证,你会尽自己的最大努力去帮助TA,情况一定会变好。
对孩子而言,在面对欺凌时,拥有家长的支持至关重要。如果孩子已经出现了身心创伤,除了去医院治疗身体,也需要专业的心理咨询和疏导。
其次,与学校联手:
1、先与孩子沟通,了解事件的详细经过、具体的时间地点和涉及的人等信息,并进行查证。同时,注意保留好证据。
2、在了解具体情况后,家长可以主动与学校相关负责人进行沟通,说明情况,并要求学校采取相应的措施。
3、寻求其他家长的支持,集体行动,更容易引起学校的重视。
04
在现实中
家长可能遇到学校不专业
甚至主观上就想和稀泥等情况
此时,还可以向社会求助
1、向教育行政主管部门等反映情况。
2、咨询专业的律师,进行维权。如情况严重,家长可以向公安机关报案。
3、寻求各种儿童保护机构、慈善组织的援助。也可以通过媒体发声。
说了这么多
这里面最重要的一环是
孩子可以向家长求助
但现实中,很多孩子得到的却是家长的批评甚至打骂,例如:“你不去招惹他,他为什么要打你?”、“别人打你,你不能打回去吗?”、“我们都要忙死了,你就不能少给我们惹点事?”所以孩子情愿保持沉默。其实,校园暴力会反复发生,持续时间较长,家长的及时介入非常重要。
除了家长,要解决校园暴力问题,还需要学校乃至全社会的共同努力。家庭、学校、社会三道防线,只要有一道起作用,事情就不会向最糟糕的方向发展。
人生中很多困惑和难题
其实都可以用心理学来解答
如果您想得到
专业心理咨询师的分析
欢迎给我们留言
文末点亮“在看”,与朋友们共勉。
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阡陌的述说
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“喜马拉雅FM”-“阡陌的述说”栏目
来源 | 农视网(ID:nongtv)
| 萌 主(国家心理咨询师)
设计 | 贺 臣
图片 | 千图网
主播 | 辛嘉宝
摄像 | 秦 鹏
剪辑 | 应仁杰
| 李 滟
| 康轩山
主编 | 张 玮
监制 | 钟 倩
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