有花友问，怎么管控孩子看电子产品？我的回答是，松管比严控好。
当然，我说不管肯定要被骂的，但，大家不妨先听听我的观点。
本文由花友
@穿山甲
发布于小花生写作计划
老实说，要说戒手机，连我自己也管不住自己。为了杜绝小视频刷起来没完，我把手机微信调成了青少年模式。
不过，如果是我妈给我调成了青少年模式，我恐怕就没那么自觉了，背着她我会解除青少年模式，或者也保不齐和她蹿儿，大干一仗。
孩子也是一样的。我始终相信“自由的孩子最自觉”。关于是先有自律还是先有自由，这在教育领域里的争论由来已久。
我的看法是，自由度大的人具有更好的自我察觉能力。特别自律的人是有的，但我们绝大多数人都有禁不起诱惑，放纵自我的时候。
所以，我们需要保持察觉，感受这种放纵后带来的麻烦，逐渐感知这种自由与放纵的边界到底在哪里。
图片来自网络
孩子还没有成人这种理性思维的能力，所以，应该是有限度地放手让他感受自由和自律的边界，不断自我调整，学会自控。而不是上来就没收，完全物理阻隔。
如果能够做到彻底物理阻隔是非常理想的。但现在的信息社会，可能无法彻底做到这一点。电子设备多如牛毛，吸引眼球的又何止微博、游戏、视频、影视剧？
小朋友们之间的交流、生活的环境都让我们沉浸在电子世界之中，我们吃饭、购物、消遣都难以离开它们。所以，严控不如松管，目的是逐渐让孩子学会掌控电子设备，做它们的主人而非奴隶。
图片来自网络
如果非要一位8岁的小朋友远离电子设备。可以考虑：
1.其他玩具替代
2.充实生活（运动、参观、游戏、美食）
3.家长示范，互相监督
毕竟我们的生活还是非常丰富多彩的，别让孩子觉得没有电子设备很无聊，相反有很多事情可做，自然也就远离了。
不过，别把一切想得太简单。人是会反复的动物。当你的干预变少，随着孩子的长大，他的学习或工作压力陡增时，通过电子产品宣泄或休息的方式可能又会占领他的生活。
你能管得了一时，能管得了一世吗？不如就让他遭遭罪，熬熬夜，难受难受好了。
上图是我儿子在中考那一年刷B站动漫的成果。半年看了这么多，还不包括后来删掉B站又忍不住在网站上刷的剧，据他说时长可能比这还要多。
高中寒假，儿子又把B站装回来了，得了三好魔法师的称号。他和其他孩子一样喜欢动漫、喜欢电子游戏、喜欢刷番。
他会打游戏打到眼睛疼，所以游戏机被物理阻隔在奶奶家，偶尔回去打一打。手机天天要用，高一每天放学后还要刷半小时到一小时不等的视频、公众号和动漫。晚上临睡前还要听十分钟到半小时的网易云音乐。
所以，现在他睡觉很晚，基本上都是11点多。如果扣除这些电子产品时间，岂不是天天都能10点多就寝？
想多了！
他必须要给自己留至少40分钟的自我游戏时间，而电子保姆可比小说、散文、诗歌有吸引力多了。
当他看到学霸同桌的超级自律时，他有时候也会反思自己，如果我把所有时间都拿来学习，是不是成绩可以更好？但很快他就否定了自己的想法。也许更差也说不准。
我赞同，不强行控制自己，给自己以弹性。如果逼迫自己自律，反而带来更多能量的损耗，倒得不偿失。想玩的时候玩，想学的时候学，比想玩的时候逼自己学效率要更高。
儿子爱看的动漫，《鬼灭之刃》
本质上说，自律是很强大的自我察觉能力和自我控制能力。这种能力是不断练习，不断修行，不断看淡和放下一些欲望而自然而然达成的。否则，强力的控制可能会得到更强烈的反弹。
这是孩子的世界，我至少要给他不读书的权力，玩电子设备的权力。因为他知道，权力的背后是对自己负责任的义务。
而且，我相信他，有能力为自己负责任。他是自由的，也是自律的，无论自由和自律孰轻孰重，是他自己可以调控的。
他的修行也会伴随一生，这是我所不能代替他做的事。他需要经历过，感受过，体验过，去判断，去甄别，去尝试改变。
人生嘛，不就是一种体验，为什么要剥夺他体验的权力呢？
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